Living in 60 second intervals

I remember a day during an especially dark time in my journey where everything seemed so out of control and overwhelming that it was impossible to breathe.

People would throw out the platitude "just take it one day at a time" and the idea of enduring 24 hours seemed an impossible feat.

So I tried to tell myself - take it half a day.......nope......an hour....not working....

I remember going outside and sitting on the ground. I set my timer for 60 seconds.

And I sat. And breathed. And I would ask the question "Is there anything happening in these 60 seconds that I cannot survive?"

Time ticked. My breathing eased into a steady rhythm. The timer dinged.

I set it again.

I lived in 60 second intervals.

What I discovered was that when I broke down time, I was truly living in the present moment. Not allowing myself to step beyond the sixty seconds or dive back into time that had passed.

The timer reset and reset.

Then a beautiful shift would occur. The longer I sat, the less I needed to ask the question "Is there anything happening in these 60 seconds that I cannot survive?"

My focus was drawn to what actually was happening in those sixty seconds.

Did I feel pain? Yes but I can breathe through it for sixty seconds.

Did I feel fear? Yes but I can breathe through it for sixty seconds.

I allowed myself to experience what else was happening in those sixty seconds.

The breeze on my neck. The sounds all around me. The ground supporting me. The sun on my face.

Sixty second glimpses of light on a day that had once seemed completely dark.

The timer reset.